The fashionable scientist-wow, great genes!

Aug23

Bad news, there is still very little you can do to change your genes (but post transcriptional modifications are all the rage)!  When it comes to making yourself look great, there is another set of JEANS that can help.  Today’s post gives tips on buying new jeans.  I am a jean convert-I wore them in Jr. High but then swore off of them for years.  I never understood why people thought that jeans were the most comfortable thing to wear, and honestly I still don’t, but they are practical (except for riding a bike in heels – see “What are you doing under there”).  I now have far too many pairs of jeans (like everything else) in a variety of colours and styles.  Regardless of my new-found love of jeans, I still HATE trying them on.  Sizing can be so inconsistent, and there are certain parts of my body that fit into no existing size of certain brands of jeans.  I have therefore developed a system for jean purchasing and selection that I find works well, though it is based on my body.  Below I will give the key points of this procedure and elaborate on my favorite jean styles and colours.

Though I do not generally like patterned jeans (see below), I REALLY want these ones but I am scared to buy jeans online without knowing my size/fit at the store (le sigh)!

River Island Dogtooth Skinny Jeans
$68.12

1.  Know that you are going to look for jeans and wear (or bring) appropriate undergarments.  Jeans are fairly forgiving of panty-lines, but certain styles certainly do not aid in the try-on process (ie underwear that easily fall down, bunch up, or create any unnecessary muffin top on their own).

2.  Grab more sizes than you think is reasonable and don’t worry about the size on the tag.   My favorite thing is when I cannot get any size in the store over my calves…wtf?!  That’s when I know the style may not be right for me, and that I should probably stop jumping jumping so much (That’s for you Erin!). I hate trying to figure out my size in a new brand or style, and the only thing that makes it worse is having to ask the sales person for another size.   I can just feel their judgement (perhaps you don’t, but that makes you superwoman of confidence land).  I find that the more expensive the store, the worse this is…and though I have not had this problem, I have heard a salesperson tell someone that they “don’t carry sizes that large” (and I am sure some of my tiny friends have the opposite problem).  This is basically tantamount to telling someone that you don’t value them in your store [whether intended or not].

3.  If you might break a nail putting them on, STOP, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  I am not a nail purist, but pants that are hard to get on, are usually uncomfortable to wear.  The exception to this rule: Second hand shopping.  If you find an amazing pair of jeans for a great price [and by great I mean $3-$30, not $65) that are hard to put on, keep trying (or think of which of your friends might fit into them).  I made the mistake once of not buying a pair of $20 True Religion Jeans at Frenchie’s because they felt too tight and have regretted it ever since (especially because I realized after the fact that I was bloated, and they totally would have fit on a normal day…blast!).  This brings me to my next point…

4.  Consider your body on a given day.  If you are bloated, it is no fun to go jeans shopping, but it may be wise.  A pair of jeans that feel comfortable even when you are bloated is a great addition to any female’s wardrobe.  It is bound to happen to you almost every month, so why not own it!  At the same time, you don’t want to buy a pair of skinny jeans for going out while you are a size or two bigger than you will be when you go out!

5. SHOES…Okay, I am obsessed, but it’s important.  Just like you need to wear a pair of skinny jeans to try on knee high boots, you need to think of which shoes you will want to wear with the jeans you are buying.  Handy trick: If you don’t want to wear the shoes or boots you plan to wear with your jeans, because it is not the season or they are too uncomfortable for a day of shopping, check the return policy on your jeans.  Once I get things home I rarely return them.  Go to the washroom, put the jeans on (leave the tags), go into the nearest shoe store, and try on the boots or shoes you plan to wear with the jeans.
[this requires some chutzpah]

6.  Length: I never worry about this anymore because jeans are now SO LONG!  I do feel for my short friends though, because there is no good way to tell what jeans are going to look like after tailoring.  Short lengths are ideal for short people (duh), but they are hard to find from what I have heard.  Stacey London says you shawties should stay away from cuffed jeans because they make you look shorter, and boot cut because they are hard to Hem.  Some brands with shorter inseams include: Banana Republic, Kasil, Jag, Caslon, Forever21 and Levis.

7. Detailing: please don’t buy ripped jeans, jeans with jewel designs on the back pockets, jeans with whiskers, or jeans with anything hanging off them.  If you want ripped jeans, rip a pair of jeans you already own (if this does not appeal to you because you wouldn’t want to ruin your jeans…think about that for a moment).  Also avoid (for the sake of humanity): animal print jeans, floral jeans, camo jeans, striped jeans (though I love these, they usually look heinous on).  DO buy coloured jeans!  In particular, buy coloured skinny jeans.  For the fall I would choose Red, Cobalt blue, eggplant, or teal (all of which I own).

My favorite jeans are still my tried and true Levis bootcut jeans, they fit me well, have an excellent rise, and are as comfortable as I think jeans can be.  I have been on the lookout for a great pair of dark black (yes I did just say dark black) skinny jeans so that I can look  more like a rock star-any suggestions welcome (though I will probably just wait until I find some at Winners).

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